A note to self....

The year now is 2016 yet you cringe on hearing about 5 years ago.
You were at your worst, I get that, I really do... but you have to stop being so hard on yourself.
You were a naive, young girl who kept believing she was the strongest ever. No one ever told you, you did not have to walk around hiding behind high walls.
Now, you are not healing or rather you are not allowing yourself  to heal. You are carrying the pain, the guilt and the grief.
Let it go...the only three words you need to hear...

Thirst and hunger

“Something about you that drives me crazy… that awakens some sort of thirst-hunger for you…”

You, the artist, are completely messed up, f up in your head. Through your eyes, I can almost see my destruction but yet I can't move away…can't look away.

Now you sit there infront of me smiling, that innocent and smooth smile, at my helplessness. How did I get here? How did we get here? 

“Yes..” all he waited for was a “yes”. He waited for years and years. But he stayed. Never gave me up.

Yet, a moment with you feels enough to fill my lifetime longing- the emptiness. But how can I forget his patience and his loyalty and his love? 

Maybe you and I aren't so different… both ruthless… both careless…both heartless.

A soft graze across my cheek, I yearn for more but you know that. 

A slow brush across my lips with your thin cold fingers. I close my eyes as you lean forward, towards my lips, but I feel the words “open your eyes” on my skin. Like a child, I open my eyes and gaze into your soul… I don't see you, ofcourse not.. I see myself, cornered and caged. Something clicks at that moment, I grab your face, lock my fingers behind your hair and pull you in…

I believe we meet again…